A Year in the Can

I don't really want to reflect back on this year. It happened, I hated most of it, move on.

But as with every year, there were parts I didn't hate. Parts I actually really liked, in fact. I don't keep a regular diary, but I do jot down a few highlights from each day. This has been extremely helpful, because I can look back on things and get an idea of my mindset at the time. It also helps me see just how much work I've been able to accomplish and remember happier times. 

This year, of course, has run the gamut. Much of my joy comes from going places and hanging out with people, both things of which I experienced little. But I was able to find new things that gave me joy and kept my mind fairly intact. As Iago said in "Aladdin," you'd be surprised what you can live through. 

There's one photo that really sums up a large part of my year. 

That's about 3/4 of the medication I was prescribed this year and then either couldn't tolerate or didn't work as intended. It represents hundreds of dollars, days of dizziness and nausea, and weeks of frustration. I really didn't realize just how horrible I'd been feeling this year until I looked back over my calendar - I have a shorthand for health (which says a lot in itself), and just about every week had at least 2 days that indicated that it was a bad day. And that's all before I started developing hardcore anxiety. Which necessitated even more med trials. 

Last year, on New Year's Eve, I was at my friend Lori's house. I felt awful. Very dizzy, very spaced out, nauseous, and just plain miserable. I feel 100x better this year than I did then. For that, I'm thankful. 

In 2019, I wrote down on thing every day that made me grateful. I think for 2021, since my theme is joy, I'm going to write down one thing every day (or week, whatever works) that brought me joy. I'm counting on you guys to hold me accountable for that. And I'm going to explore the definitions of joy a bit more. It's a feeling like no other. 

I pray that 2021 brings all of us bountiful blessings, great joy, and an abundance of common sense. 

Happy New Year!