Disappointment
I still don't understand the etymology of this word. But whatever.
I've been avoiding posting about this.
Mostly because I'm still disappointed.
A little annoyed. Upset. Consterned? Consternated? In a state of consternation.
Whatever.
If you haven't stopped reading because you yourselves are annoyed, you're probably asking, "Why are you in a state of consternation?" And now you're saying, "Just get on with it already!"
Fine, then.
I'm not going to Turkey.
And I think the really annoying part of it is that it wasn't because of money, either. You guys were awesome about contributing. But there weren't enough people to make the tour cost effective. They were hoping for 40. We had about half that signed up.
Alas, my reenactment of the seige of Constantinople will have to be put on hold for the foreseeable future.
"Fine," I said to myself after months of moping and weeping over scale models of the sea gate. "I'll just find somewhere else to go."
And I did. I was all set to go to Spain with Dynamic Women in Missions, conveniently at the same time as my trip to Turkey would have been.
I love Spain. Maybe not as much as the Middle East. But a lot. Enough that I could see myself living there one day.
Except now my support account can't afford the trip there, either.
I'm trying to be okay with this. I keep telling myself that there is a very good reason for not going, maybe even for staying, and I should be content to follow God's leading.
But it's a struggle.
And it's still disappointing.
I've been avoiding posting about this.
Mostly because I'm still disappointed.
A little annoyed. Upset. Consterned? Consternated? In a state of consternation.
Whatever.
If you haven't stopped reading because you yourselves are annoyed, you're probably asking, "Why are you in a state of consternation?" And now you're saying, "Just get on with it already!"
Fine, then.
I'm not going to Turkey.
And I think the really annoying part of it is that it wasn't because of money, either. You guys were awesome about contributing. But there weren't enough people to make the tour cost effective. They were hoping for 40. We had about half that signed up.
Alas, my reenactment of the seige of Constantinople will have to be put on hold for the foreseeable future.
"Fine," I said to myself after months of moping and weeping over scale models of the sea gate. "I'll just find somewhere else to go."
And I did. I was all set to go to Spain with Dynamic Women in Missions, conveniently at the same time as my trip to Turkey would have been.
I love Spain. Maybe not as much as the Middle East. But a lot. Enough that I could see myself living there one day.
Except now my support account can't afford the trip there, either.
I'm trying to be okay with this. I keep telling myself that there is a very good reason for not going, maybe even for staying, and I should be content to follow God's leading.
But it's a struggle.
And it's still disappointing.