Taking the Brain for a Spin
New design! I needed something different to stare at while I'm trying to figure out what to write.
My brain feels fried. Truthfully, it's felt that way for a long time. Sometimes I don't know what I'm still doing here. I've never been this person - I don't take leaps of faith; I don't like not knowing what happens next; I like feeling safe and comfortable; I don't set myself up for failure.
Does anyone here watch NCIS? It's a great show. My favorite character is Tony DiNozzo, probably because I identify most with him - or at least my version of him. He puts on a big show for everyone of a confident, resourceful person, but inside, he's very insecure and has low self-esteem. Before he found Leroy Jethro Gibbs, he moved from job to job whenever he felt like someone was getting too close.
His life could be a metaphor for my Christian walk. (Not sure where the plague fits in, but I'll find a way to make it work.) I actually see this in a lot of TV shows. Every character feels a void, and they are looking for something to fill it. The shows try to tell you that fame, fortune and family are what you need to make life complete. Yet time and time again, it's clear that even these fictional characters aren't satisfied.
I have tried so hard to be content with where I am, to accept it, to grow, to stretch myself...
It feels like I'm breaking.
I've taken time off, I've reprioritized, I've become more involved at church - still, it feels like I'm holding on by a thread.
This isn't where I intended to end up, but it's where my thoughts took me.
The mind is a dangerous place to dwell.
My brain feels fried. Truthfully, it's felt that way for a long time. Sometimes I don't know what I'm still doing here. I've never been this person - I don't take leaps of faith; I don't like not knowing what happens next; I like feeling safe and comfortable; I don't set myself up for failure.
Does anyone here watch NCIS? It's a great show. My favorite character is Tony DiNozzo, probably because I identify most with him - or at least my version of him. He puts on a big show for everyone of a confident, resourceful person, but inside, he's very insecure and has low self-esteem. Before he found Leroy Jethro Gibbs, he moved from job to job whenever he felt like someone was getting too close.
His life could be a metaphor for my Christian walk. (Not sure where the plague fits in, but I'll find a way to make it work.) I actually see this in a lot of TV shows. Every character feels a void, and they are looking for something to fill it. The shows try to tell you that fame, fortune and family are what you need to make life complete. Yet time and time again, it's clear that even these fictional characters aren't satisfied.
I have tried so hard to be content with where I am, to accept it, to grow, to stretch myself...
It feels like I'm breaking.
I've taken time off, I've reprioritized, I've become more involved at church - still, it feels like I'm holding on by a thread.
This isn't where I intended to end up, but it's where my thoughts took me.
The mind is a dangerous place to dwell.